Vivid Dreaming
by mirrormirror2
Summary: The aftermath of rape on the set of Private Practice. Partnering with the 'review community' so don't forget to review! If you haven't read it, personally I would start with the latest chapter, but that's just because things are starting to pick up.
1. Chapter 1

I'm going to say this more than once, but this is a dream. One I can't seem to shake. It's interesting though, I'll give it that. But if you see things that don't make sense...it's cuz it's a dream! Freakishly detailed, but a dream. I'm just writing it down. It's one of those dreams where you're the main character, but then at other times you're just watching. For me I guess I was the main person, but 'me' in the dream wasn't me at all, for numerous obvious reasons like #1 I don't and have never worked on Private Practice! And 2, I'm not that young. That's all you get for now. Enjoy the ride. You'll probably react to it the same way I did! Just writing down exactly what happened in this dream from beginning to end- and Go!

She felt like she was running, but she knew she wasn't. She knew she wasn't because she couldn't. She'd tried running away, but all that got her was searing blinding pains that nearly had her back down on the pavement in agony. So, she walked instead. Trying to take very small steps, and move as quickly as she possibly could, which felt like a snail's pace.

She was afraid to look behind her. She was terrified, knowing he could attack again at any time. Even though she'd seen him run the other way, that didn't mean he couldn't come back to get her. Now would be a good time, she reasoned, since she was too crippled to get away.

Not like she'd gotten away the first time.

So she tip-toe walked, limped, moved forward her bare feet feeling nothing. Her only goal now was to get to KaDee's trailer. No, her first goal, was to get away, which she was in the process of doing. Don't panic, she told herself, just keep moving. Just get to KaDee's trailer, get clothes and get home. If she could just get to her trailer, she'd be fine.

Trailer, clothes, home. Trailer, clothes, home.

This was all that she allowed to go through her mind.

It was a relief to see the outline of the trailer row in front of her. KaDee's wasn't the first one she'd come to, but the first cast member who'd have clothes that would come close to fitting. Once there she made quick work of walking up the metal stairs and grabbed the cold handle of the door. She tugged, once, twice. It was locked. She looked in the windows, and noticed they were dark. KaDee'd had an early call that day, which meant she'd left earlier than usual.

"Damnit."

Mentally she went down the cast list of people's trailers who were near her, and those who she'd have a chance in hell of their clothes fitting her.

"Violet," she whispered, was the next best option. Amy! She shook her head. I mean, Amy.

With tiny tip toeing steps she ran ahead to Amy's trailer. But when she saw the windows dark, she knew better than to waste energy trying to door.

She looked down the row, thankful for the dark that hid her. If anyone came out of the studio or their trailer, Lilly could easily hide. She saw the lights from windows where cast was still waiting for calls. Taye, Chris, Kate-

Kate!

Thank god! She huselled down to the third trailer, praying that no one looked out and saw her. Without feeling her feet, or exhaustion, Lilly lept up onto the stairs, yanked the trailer door open, and made a mad silent dash to the left to Kate's closet.

She was already rifling through clothes that were twice as tall as her when she heard a shout.

"What the hell?!"

Lilly didn't bother to stop rifling, or pull her head from the closet to look in Kate's direction.

"Lilly, get out!"

Desperate to find something quick, Lilly grabbed a pair of sweat pants.

"I was gonna borrow some of KaDee's clothes," she gasped. "But, KaDee's gone. An' Amy, and Audra's clothes would never fit me. Yours either, but it's too far to walk to wardrobe, and my trailer is at the way end."

It wasn't really her trailer, it was the general kids trailer, but since she was the only kid that was there on a consistant basis pretending to be Charlotte King's relation, it was pretty much her trailer-sort of.

"I gotta go home," she finished.

"You're not even supposed to be here."

"What the-" Kate looked from the door to the door of her closet. All previous thoughts vanished from her mind.

She pulled back the closet door, and looked at her pint-sized sometimes cast-mate/guest star. The girl cast to be KaDee Strickland's niece or cousin or whatever. Mostly just cast so that Charlotte King could be forced to have to interact with a child. Comic relief.

"Lilly, where are your clothes? What happened to your shoes? Your socks? Your pants?"

The kid was standing there bare footed, bare legged, in a training bra, with the shirt she'd had on pulled down instead over her bottom.

The girl just shook her head. Kate noticed she was shaking like a leaf. Shaking so hard her teeth were chattering. The trail of blood didn't go un noticed either.

"Lilly," she forced her voice to be calm, "tell me what happened to your clothes." She figured it was better than asking, what happened to you.

Lilly shook her head. "It's nothing," she answered. "I just gotta go home."

"You're hurt," she countered.

Another head shake, as Lilly started to pull on Kate's sweat pants. In a flash of memory Kate put her hand around the kid's stopping her movement.

"I'm fine," she answered. "I just gotta go home."

"Lilly-"

"Fine," she insisted. "I can't go home like this. I haveta borrow your clothes. Not that they'll fit," she added, "but I can't go home like this."

"Kate!"

The sing-song voice was obviously Audra's.

"Did you scapelize yourself again?"

She was laughing as she opened Kate's trailer door.

Kate's trailer was large, but not that large. As it was Lilly, Kate, and Audra were all bunched in the small 'hall' space of the trailer.

"She didn't knock," Lilly pointed out.

Audra was surprised to see Lilly.

"Aren't you supposed to be at home by now? You can't be working this late-"

"I'm leaving now," she answered.

"Where are your clothes? Oh my god, what happened to you?"

"Nothing. I gotta go."

Kate exchanged a glance with her.

"Honey," Audra slowed her words, as much to calm herself as to calm the kid, "what happened?"

"Someone took them."

"What?"

"I just said."

"Who took your clothes?"

"Some guy," she answered. "He ran off."

Audra looked Lilly in the eyes. Her eyes were huge. It looked like she was in shock.

Taking advantage of her daze Audra asked quickly, "What did he look like?"

Lilly shrugged. "Kinda like Tim."

"Was it Tim?"

Lilly rolled her eyes. "I know what Tim looks like," she answered.

They'd started moving her out of the trailer and into the studio, figuring it's meticulous and functional medical layout might prove useful. And with more people, it was possibly safer.

"Get security," Kate hissed to Audra as they lead Lilly across the pavement and inside. "Lock down both lots. The son-of-a-bitch couldn't have gotten far. No one leaves the set, either Grey's or here. Not a cast member, not a guest, not a single extra- no one."

With Audra with Lilly, Kate kicked off her slippers and ran across the lot to the Grey's set, praying that Chandra was there, and so was her doctor, who was also the medical consultant for PP. She burst in the nearest door and ran into TR Knight.

"Kate!" He squeezed her in a hug. "Long time no see!"

"Don't have time to talk," she explained as she hastily pulled from his embrace. Kate then raised her voice so that it carried across the studio. "We gotta lock the sets down now! Someone get on the horn to the gate attendant. No one leaves, no one gets in."

That got people's attention. Adrenaline and panick blurred her vision, but she could see Sara and Sondra stop whatever they were doing and turn towards her, along with a host of other blurred shapes and faces.

"What happened?"

"It's one of our kids," she answered, meaning one of their child actors. "They've been raped, right behind the back lot."

Kate saw a lot of large eyes, dropped jaws and heard a lot of 'shit's.'

"He looks like Tim Daly," she provided. "Find him. Stop whatever you're doing and find him. He took her clothes," she provided, "and her shoes. It happened about five minutes ago. He can't be far." She took a shaky breath and added, "My girls, come with me," she added, meaning the female Grey's cast she was familiar with.

***I'm not going to type any more. This has got to be the longest dream ever. And this is the shortest and most boring part. I wish I could write the more interesting part, and the most interesting first, but of course then you'd have no idea what I was talking about. So, I'll just go in order. This seemed like a good stopping point. This dream was months ago, but I can still close my eyes and see the entire thing as clearly as if it were a movie playing in my head. I've had detailed dreams before, but this one definitely takes the cake! More later, when I'm not so pooped by typing. Just wait till you see what happens next!


	2. Chapter 2

Just her luck. In moments the set was empty. People had gone outside to talk, to look, but most people had gone home. Audra really didn't give a shit, if this was going down, no one who wasn't part of the family was going to be a part of this. The director who didn't know Lilly from a fly on the wall, the extras- hell as long as they hadn't raped her, they could leave. Only the people who needed to be there, people she and Kate trusted should stay. This was private, this was family, this was not something that was open to TMZ everyone and their mama's business. For lack of another place, Audra ushered Lilly to their exam room set. If their was a doctor on set, Kate would find them.

The look on Lilly's face said "I'm fine," but her eyes looked like a deer in headlights. They were huge, stuck to a wide open stare that seemed to be seeing nothing at all. Blinking was rare.

She was scared. Grateful, but scared. There were no other children on set that day, not even a single baby- an extreme rarity. But this was good, because it meant that no one else had been hurt.

I have no idea what to do, she thought. All of the women were gone. Betsy, Shonda, Amy, Caterina, KaDee, everyone was gone. Everyone that Lilly was used to. The people she most interacted with were KaDee and Paul, by virtue of her playing Charlotte King's niece. Sometimes she'd have scenes with Chris Lowell, because Dell had an adorable paternal need to shield Lilly's character from Charlotte's crazy hilarious 'I hate kids' rages.

Off screen, the kid was there a lot. It was suspected heavily she had a bad home life, probably because she'd said often, "being here is better than being at home", with a dead expression on her face. Shonda put her on pay roll, and had her on set even if she had not a single scene to film. She just worked on her home-schooling assignments, read, and occassionally snuck into Paul Adelstein's trailer to play his guitar. When she'd found out Chris could play the harmonica, she'd be after him like a puppy constantly begging, or taking after Charlotte King and demanding, "Play it! Play the harmonica! Come on Chris! Play the thing! Now! Please?"

Audra thought about calling the girl's mother, but knew, just knew if she did so, and this woman found out her child had been raped? She wouldn't get the medical care or the emotional care she needed. Lilly's mom was more focused on her drug addiction, booze, and string of boyfriends than on her daughter, unless it was using her daughter to be the bread-winner of the family.

"Just sit here," Audra told her. A place she was familiar with. The goal was to keep the kid here. A short term goal, but a do-able one. Audra thought about taking the kid to the hospital, but then thought of all the cameras that would be clicking away once she and Kate and everyone else on set stepped out of the ambulance with Lilly. Because if she went to the hospital for this, they were all going.

Her cell rang, and she picked it up.

"Dr. Catalano's here," Kate spoke immediately. "She's coming over now to look at Lilly."

Audra nodded. "Good." It was all she could think of to say.

She pushed open the heavy metal firedoor that opened out to their trailers. She saw a sea of people running, heard voices shouting. She saw Paul, and Chris and Tim among the mass, searching. She saw the group from Grey's all dressed in their scrubs running along too.

"Taye!" She used her lungs to bellow for her on-screen ex-husband. With Kate gone, she didn't want to be alone. And the inside of the studio was empty. People who wanted to leave had, the rest were outside forming a search party.

"I didn't know we were doing a mash-up with Grey's."

Audra jumped at the sound. The small person that was Lilly was standing beneath Audra's arm, looking out into the darkened lot, watching all the people running back and forth.

"What's going on?" She whispered. "What are they filming?" "Are they doing an accident?"

Audra's heart hurt.

"ooh, look there's the guy that plays Alex!" She hissed in a squeal. "He is so cute!"

Taye'd heard her and was starting to move towards her, Audra took Lilly by her shoulders and backed her out of the doorway.

Taye she felt comfortable with, and Lilly did too, which was a plus. Taye and Lilly both shared a love of dance. Taye gave her the nick-name Shirley, because with her looks and dance background, she reminded one of Shirley Temple.

When Taye wasn't on set, and especially when Lilly was around, he liked to dance with her outside in a makeshift dance studio, with a dance floor made of cardboard like break dancers used. They'd take chairs out there and do a full ballet barre before working on other things like jazz and tap. Audra knew Taye loved it when Lilly was on set, because without her there, he had no one else to dance with. There were no other dancers in the cast. The kid was an amazing little ballerina, but when it came to tap dancing, Taye could dance rings around her.

But, Lilly really did look like Shirley Temple. Naturally blond curly hair that fell in fat round sausage curls around her face, or springy tight spirals. All the sylists fought to work on her, and they did, especially when she was on set but not working. Straight, Lilly's hair fell to mid back, but wet it would dry to curls so tight her hair would only fall to her ears. Audra loved it when the stylists did Lil' hair this way, because she loved to grab an inch long curl and pull it till it was it's straight length of a foot, before releasing it and watching it spring back into place. The kid was a walking toy. A living breathing style my hair doll.

A doll whose hair was now plastered with sticky drying blood.

Walking Lilly back to the exam room set, she heard a vaguely familiar voice call out, "Don't touch her!"

Then, "Has she gone to the bathroom or drunk any water?"

She turned to see Kate, followed by a tall heavy set woman with dark rimmed glasses.

"No," she answered as Kate filled in,

"This is Dr. Catalano, one of the consultants at Grey's."

Not wasting any time, the woman walked up to Lilly, visually examining her like a hawk.

"Did you eat?" She asked her.

Confused, Lilly looked at Audra. "No?" She answered.

"Since this happened to you, did you eat or drink anything, or go to the bathroom?"

"No," she answered slowly. "But," she shook her head and her curls swung out in unison like chimes, "nothing happened to me. I'm fine," she repeated. "I just have to get dressed," she held up Kate's sweat pants, that she still had clutched in a fist "and go home."

The only actual doctor on set nodded once, then said in a no-nonsense tone, "You're not going home anytime soon."

Nice bedside manner, Audra thought, glaring at the woman.

It was then that Audra saw what Kate and the doctor had in their hands.

"Those aren't real, are they?"

"Of course they are," Dr. Catalano looked at her like she was an idiot. "They are sterile and completely useable. They're from UCLA's department."

"We talked," Kate explained. "The less time she's in the hospital the better. And Dr. Catalano says we can do this here. It won't be the same, but our equipment is functional. And," she held up the packages, "we do have all the same materials that a forensic examiner would need."

"And an actual doctor who knows procedure," Audra offered.

The doctor was already opening one container, and with gloved hands put a large white sheet of paper on the middle of the exam room floor. "Step onto that," she ordered Lilly, already beginning to change out of the gloves, and open other containers including several paper bags labeled "Evidence".

"Take off your clothes, one piece at a time, hand them to me, and I will put them in these bags here," she instructed.

Half naked already, Lilly stood in the middle of the paper, but balked at the other expectations. With still wide-eyes she stared at Audra, leaning her tiny body towards her.

"Nuh uh," she answered shaking her head.

****Yup. And again I say, this is a dream. I'm writing down what happened, and no this is not the interesting part yet. If you think this is detailed, just wait till you see what happens when certain other people get in on this, when Audra stops being Audra and starts being Naomi, etc. Cuz it'll happen. Little spoiler there. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

If it hadn't been for Kate Walsh, things wouldn't have gotten as far as they had. Which was to say they'd have been at a dead stop since the strange woman who Kate said was an actual doctor walked on set.

But since all that was being done now was Lilly getting out of clothing that made her feel disgusting and what amounted to, in her mind, a strange version of a manicure, she didn't balk at anything. That is, once Kate stepped in taking her cues from Dr. Catalano, and relying heavily on the hours she'd spent shadowing real gynocologists. Since she was wearing gloves, it didn't really matter who was collecting the evidence, so much as the evidence was being collected.

It helped that no one said much of anything. If they had tried to talk about what had happened to her, Lilly would be calling a cab.

But when it went past that and came time for the "fake doctor" to examine Lilly, all bets were off. She'd flat out refused. Thrown a fit was the more accurate description.

Audra had convened Taye, who she had waiting by the door, just in case Lilly decided to try to hightail it out of there. Also, he was looking to see if the bastard decided to creep into the set.

"So now what do we do?"

"She needs to do this."

"I don't get it, what's the problem?" Paul asked, having taken a momentary search break. Kate, having done as much as she was confortable with, and feeling that real life Kate was much more useful in tracking down a child predator as Kate child predator tracker-downer than Kate as pretend Ob-Gyn Addison Montgomery, had called Paul in as she ran to join the search.

"She won't listen to the doctor."

"She doesn't believe the doctor is a doctor," Taye clarified.

"That's a problem."

"She's convinced Dr. Catalano is just an extra from the Grey's set."

Paul laughed aloud. "What? It's funny."

"Yeah, well now it's causing problems."

"Who is this person anyway?"

"She's Grey's consultant, she's also Chandra's you know, Bailey's own doctor."

"And she won't do anything the doctor says?"

"Would you if you thought the person trying to doctor you was just some actor?"

"Okay, I can see how that would be seen as a problem."

"Can't she do something to prove her 'doctorness'?" He asked as Taye said

"We need to find someone this kid will listen to."

"You mean she won't listen to you?"

"Nope. Not me or Audra either."

"What about Kate?"

"We can't have everyone stop the man-hunt to convince her to listen to the doctor."

"Well maybe if she did something that proved-"

"Nope." Taye shook his head. "Audra said she tried that, and all Lilly said was, "Audra and Kate can do that too. It's not hard to spit out medical talk and whip a few instruments around. I can do that too."

Paul started laughing again. Taye glared at him.

"What are we going to do? Lilly needs to be looked at now."

"We need someone she will listen to."

"You know she wouldn't listen to any of us."

He nodded. "I know."

"Wait!"

"KaDee! Call KaDee!"

"She's not going to listen to her."

Paul nodded. "She would. KaDee and Lilly don't interact that much off-set. Ask me why."

"Why?"

"Lilly's afraid of KaDee. Because in just about every scene with her Charlotte King is screaming at her."

They smiled. Taye whipped out his phone.

"Damn it," he hissed. "Straight to voicemail."

"She's probably home by now." Taye motioned for quiet.

"KaDee," he spoke with urgency. "You need to get back here now. The minute you get this, get in the car and start driving back. There's an emergency. We need your help."

Paul was texting her the same. "She might check texts first," he offered.

"Crap," Audra muttered. "Now what do we do? We can't wait."

Taye mentally reviewed everyone on set. Wait! Bailey!"

"Huh?"

"If she'd listen to KaDee because KaDee can go all scary bitch mode, and I'm guessing it's gotta be a woman in there with her or she'll freak- what about Chandra Wilson? That girl is a beast as Bailey!"

Audra and Paul were silent for a moment, until Paul, who had the honor of having his trailer just before the kids'/Lilly's trailer commented, "She watches Grey's all the time. When she's not watching the Cosby Show."

Audra smiled and nodded, remembering Lilly's comment about one of their actors. "That's right!"

Audra smiled, jumped and hugged Taye.

"Perfect!"

"Kate!" She used her vocals instead of her phone.

"Get Chandra!" Taye, Paul and Audra yelled.

"I"m right here." The calm voice nearly in their ears made the three jump.

"Shit!"

"I came over as soon as I heard," she began, looking to Audra. "Where is she?"

Audra nodded to the side door that led to the stage set.

Something tells me I should stop typing this up at like 4AM. Oddly enough, I've been having trouble sleeping. lol. Maybe that explains the detailed dreams I have, because I sleep and dream so rarely?


	4. Chapter 4

"What can I do?" She asked.

"Lilly doesn't believe your doctor is actually a doctor," Audra answered in a hushed tone. "She won't let her examine her, even the basics. We got her clothes bagged and her into a gown, but that's as far as she'll go."

"She's clearly injured?" She asked this thinking of her own children.

"I think she may have a head injury. And, she's bleeding." She let the last part explain itself. "She's clearly in shock, terrified, and wants nothing more than to not believe this has happened. If she gets examined she won't be able to keep pretending nothing's wrong."

Chandra sighed. "And she needs to be examined."

Audra nodded.

"She knows who I am?"

Audra shook her head. "I don't think she knows you," she answered, "but she knows Bailey."

"And we need Bailey," Taye answered behind them. "She needs Bailey."

They were halfway across the stage, in site of the exam room set. Chandra stopped in her tracks and turned around, not realizing the two men, Taye whom she knew, were following them.

"You don't need to be up in this," she looked at both of them.

Chandra glared and pursed her lips in disapproval shaking her head. "No," she answered, "what she needs are women." She glanced around and saw how open the area was. "A lot of women," she added, pulling out her phone and shooting a quick text.

"Anyway," Audra continued, "we need someone who will-"

"Scare her into getting this done?"

"Dr. Catalano thinks there may be a lot of damage, so yes. She needs an exam and she needs it now. The only way that's going to happen, because Catalano will not touch Lilly without her consent, is if the facts of the matter are put across to her in a way she understands, and by someone she respects- which isn't any of us," she admitted. They were Lilly's co-workers, but as far as Lilly was concerned, they were her play-mates. She held them in no high esteem. They were equals.

Frankly, Audra was too frightened by the whole situation to go full on Mommy mode with her.

"Is fear okay?" Chandra asked.

Audra nodded. "Fine, fear's fine." She didn't think Lilly could be all that scared of Chandra Wilson. She'd likely be excited to see Dr. Bailey. Frankly Audra was so scared at the moment she was shaking. She welcomed someone who wasn't her taking charge.

Chandra straightened her lab coat, Audra noticed she was in full costume, and strode ahead. "I've got this," she said.

Wanting to see this, Audra rushed ahead to be in the room with Lilly when "Bailey" got there.


	5. Chapter 5

Be warned, I'm on serious meds right now. Consider yourselves warned. Oh, and PS I wanna know what those of you who are reading are thinking. I do wish I could type the whole thing at one time, but that would take forever, plus typing this dream causes parts of my body to hurt. I'm sure there's a reason for that, but whatever.

"I'm going to tell you what's going to happen here."

Chandra walked into the space like owned the place, looked at Lilly like she knew her personally and wasn't putting up with any of her crap.

Lilly was still standing in the middle of the floor, gowned now, where she'd been poised to run off. Eyes wide now in surprise, her jaw dropped open.

"You are gonna get into that exam table," she pointed a finger at it, then jerked her thumb towards Dr. Catalano, "then you are gonna let Dr. Catalano examine you. Dr. Catalano is my doctor-" she stopped talking and held up a 'stop' sign with her hand,

"Do you know who I am?"

Too shocked by the idea that Dr. Bailey really was real, Lilly just nodded dumbly.

"Good," she answered. "Like I was saying, she is my doctor and you know I wouldn't have some idiot doctor checking out my stuff. And now I'm going to allow my doctor to check you out."

"I..." she dragged the single syllable out, "I don't wanna," she objected.

Chandra did her best to look pissed off, which was the exact opposite of how she felt.

"You think I care what you want? I wanna be at home in my own bed right now. I bet a lot of the people in this room right now wanna be gone, but we're all here, waiting on you."

"I'm fine," her voice squeaked, hoping.

"You're fine?" Bailey blazed. "You're fine?!" She shook her head hard and quick. "You are not fine! You are _not_ fine!"

She nodded to Lilly's head. "You got a lump there the size of Montana, an' you're bleedin' like a cutter, so no you aren't fine. You are not fine."

"Now, you're gonna get onto that exam table and let my doctor examine you, or I'm gonna know the reason why."

Lilly didn't know what to say to that, so she said nothing. Instead she looked questions over at Audra.

"I'd probably listen to her, if I were you," Audra hissed in response, allowing her voice to sound as if she were as intimidated as Lilly actually was.

Dr. Catalano moved over to the exam table and flipped out the stirrups. "Might as well start this way, assess the damage there first," she muttered as if speaking only to herself.

"Lilly," she smiled at her, "Hop up onto the table here, and put your feet into these little holders," she pointed to the stirrups.

Lilly had backed up into Audra at the end of Chandra/Bailey's speech. Now she had nowhere to go. Lilly looked at the table, and at the weird things sticking out of it.

"You want me to put my feet there?" She asked. Her voice sounded small.

"Yup," Audra answered.

Lilly's face scrunched up and reddened. "But they're so far apart," she objected.

Audra laughed. "Honey, you're a ballet dancer, don't tell me you can't handle that!"

Lilly looked down at the floor, and answered in a voice so quiet Audra and everyone else had to lean in to hear it.

"It hurts to put my legs apart." She seemed to shrink into herself at the words. Indeed her shoulders hunched over, turtle like, as if to protect her further.

Audra glanced at Taye, whose face, though he was a man, was contorted in imagined pain.

"Do you have a bed?" Catalano asked, addresseing no one in particular.

Audra nodded, finding it difficult to make words just then. "Yeah," she answered finally. "Yes."

Catalano turned to move. "Let's go. We'll need to make her as comfortable as possible."

"Is it okay to move her?"

The doctor nodded. "It is now," she answered matter of factly. "Most of the evidence that's left isn't outside her body."

"Taye," Audra whispered, jerking her head to Lilly.

"Gonna just pick you up," Taye smiled hard, and Audra knew he was channeling Sam Bennett because Taye Diggs was scared shitless.

Lilly whimpered, clearly afraid this would hurt.

Taye bent down and scooped Lilly up as easily as if she were a tiny child. Then he used his muscle to move her as quickly as he could move to the set next to them, which was used as the birthing suite most times, or changed into a hospital set. They only had one hospital bed, and this was it.

Audra and Chandra pulled down the bed covers, and Taye deposited Lilly, clad in the pink front opening gowns of Oceanside Wellness, in the center of the bed. Thinking further ahead, Chandra pulled the covers and the linen from the foot of the bed, so that it could easily be moved to accommodate an exam, just as the flimsy paper sheets could be.

Audra watched as Dr. Catalano arranged her instruments onto the metal tray. She realized Catalano was going to do things, and they would mean things that she'd only done in acting. Listening to a heartbeat, but not knowing how to count a pulse. Knowing how to use a mallet to get a knee to jerk, but not knowing what that meant. She knew how to use a speculum, but wouldn't know what to look for if she actually had to look through one.

Dr. Catalano was opening the rest of the rape kit materials now.

"Did any of you touch her?"

She hadn't been thinking. They'd trained in this. She'd seen in on Strong Medicine. You don't touch someone whose body is a crime scene. It contaminates the evidence.

"I did, on her arms," her voice was shaking.

"We didn't touch her that much."

"Didn't kiss her? Didn't hug her?"

They both shook their heads. Kate,remembering, had stopped Audra with a wild look in her eye when she'd tried.

Kate'd asked Lilly if she wanted to get evidence to get the guy in jail. Lilly eagerly agreed, most likely because she had no idea what it all meant. Collecting her clothes, taking pictures, getting evidence, that was fine. But that was as far as things went.

"Have you showered, urinated, bathed, douched?"

Chandra rolled her eyes. "She has no idea what that is,"

"No," she answered as if the doctor were brainless. "I just got here. How'm I gonna go shower?"

The fingernail samples had been easy, but painful. If they caught the guy he'd be easy to identify with large deep cat-like gouges. Tons of DNA evidence under the kid's fingernails alone.

When she said she'd bit him, everyone in the room was concerned, until the doctor pointed out that if she'd been penetrated she had just as high a chance if not higher of getting the same diseases. The bite was what resulted in the lump on the back of her head.


	6. Chapter 6

They'd positioned themselves adequately.

Taye stood at the door of the room. There was a false wall to his right, the wall behind Audra and Lilly and Chandra.

Dr. Catalano, the only real medical professional in the room was standing to Lilly's right, by her feet.

In a half circle, almost making a third wall, blocking view or access to Lilly, was a circle of women. It was maybe a dozen, but it felt as if the room were filled with women. Filled with women and some powerful unyeilding, silent strength.

"Bailey" had brought her posse. Taye'd heard her tell the women that it would help if they stayed in character. In hindsight, it wasn't clear if this was what caused what happened next, or if it were simply a strange coincidence.

So standing before Lilly was not the cast of Grey's Anatomy. In front of Lilly, sheilding her stood Callie Torres, Meredith Grey, Cristina Yang, Izzie Stevens, and a flock of other people or characters Taye didn't recognize, all in scrubs and lab coats. That was it. Yet, it felt as if they were a crowd. A group of warriors, though they didn't know the child who lay before them, were willing to fight tooth and nail for her.

Everyone was on edge. Everyone was maternal, protective, fierce. And silent.

Chris was there, with his camera around his neck. He was the only one talking. Or, trying to. He was desperately trying to think of anything to say to escape the current reality. He'd only taken pictures of Lilly's bloody hands, her head, the blood trailing down her legs, bruises, but nothing else. He wasn't an idiot though. He knew what he'd have to take pictures of next.

Lilly had no idea what was coming. All she wanted was to get out of there. Out of that space. Go away. Go home so she could forget what had happened to her. Or, at least try.

"Okay, Lilly, I need to check you over now."

Dr. Catalano had been almost entirely hands-off since the beginning of the forensic exam. Or, the Grey's/PP version of a forensic exam.

Audra's eyes were huge and scared as Catalano began. With the easy stuff. Checking Lilly's mouth with a tongue depressor, flashlight to the eyes, scope in the ears.

"Breathe in."

Stethoscope to the back.

Normal.

Then hands carefully feeling for damage. Checking the back, the spine, neck and head.

"Does any of that hurt?"

Lilly nodded.

"Okay honey," Chandra spoke, so much in Bailey mode now that she felt she had every right to speak for Dr. Catalano. As if Chandra actually knew as much as and what she was doing. "You need to tell us how much it hurts. Does it hurt like a broken bone, or hurt like a bruise, or sore like you fell down in the park kind of hurt?"

Lilly's breathing was shaky. She swallowed. Chris immediately went to the functional sink and got a glass of water with a straw.

"My head hurts," she answered. "And my eyes."

Her three cast-mates immediately looked at each other. Their co-worker's voice sounded hollow, empty and small.

"That's not her normal voice," Taye spoke up, voicing their concern. "That's not how she sounds." He tried to think of what kind of damage would cause that. Brain damage? Maybe the guy had choked her and damaged her vocal chords?

The three hovered closer, like concerned parents.

Dr. Catalano didn't look up. In a voice void of emotion, but full of professionalism she answered simply, "Shock. It's perfectly normal." She kept pressing on Lilly's back. Lilly cried out only when the doctor's hand pressed on her lower back and hips.

Audra looked sidelong at Taye and answered under her breath, "This is not normal. Nothing normal about this."

"Can you lie on your back for me?"

Her practiced hands quickly and deftly felt Lilly's abdomen for damage. Lilly was fine, until her hands reached her lower abdomen.

Suddenly Lilly cried out in pain, whimpering, nearly crying, immediately rolling over on her side towards Audra for protection.

As if she'd been shot Audra jumped and closed the gap between them, putting a hand to Lilly's head, stroking it, and another hand on Lilly's back, cradeling her. Taye brought her a chair so she could sit by Lilly's side.

"Lilly turn back over, baby." Chandra's voice was again gentle, but firm.

Arms around Audra's neck, Shirley Temple head buried in her chest, Lilly shook her head. She wasn't crying, but she was close.

"Lilly," Taye spoke, choosing to use his "Sam Serious" voice.

Audra said nothing, simply held Lilly eyes cinched tight shut whether against tears or reality or both.

Chandra put a hand to Lilly's shoulder and upper arm.

"No!" Lilly screamed this, much the way a pre-schooler would.

Drawing her hand back for a moment, Chandra saw with amazement a dark bruise beginning to form on Lilly's upper arm. Pulling back the short sleeve of the gown it was easy to see. A large bruise in the shape of a hand, fingers, palm, and all, encircling Lilly's boney arm.

"You get a picture of this?" She asked the blond boy with the camera.

"Uh, no. No," he shook his head, fumbling for words as he rose and hurried over with his camera. Two quick clicks and he was back in his seat by the door.

Dr. Catalano had looked up, but didn't seem all that concerned.

"Lilly, turn back over," she ordered. "I need to check your stomach."

Lilly shook her head again. Dr. Catalano stood there shaking her head, but Bailey took action.

It was easy to see. Chandra had simply stopped being Chandra, and started being Bailey in that moment.

She grabbed Lilly by a hip and a shoulder and forcibly rolled her over, which wasn't too easy to do, considering her stature, and Lilly's closeness to Audra as opposed to her.

"No!" Lilly yelled again.

In the brief second that followed Audra must have seen an expression she recognized, for quick as lightning she was out of her chair, grabbing the nearest empty container and holding it just as Lilly vomited.

"There goes the water," Chris muttered. Indeed that's all it was. Lilly's dry heaving proved that there was nothing else in her stomach.

Bailey looked at Catalano. "How long till the ambulance gets here?"

"You think she has a concussion?" Taye asked.

Bailey shrugged and answered in her typical voice, "I've seen enough concussions to know one when I see one."

Taye choked back a laugh.

"Either she's really good," he whispered to Chris, "or she doesn't even realize she's in character."

Chris smiled along with him, but was silent. Wordlessly, Audra handed him the container she was grateful to have grabbed, and Chris rushed it outside, glad to be given something to do again.

"Well, that's that then," Catalano smiled a mirthless smile. "Let's move on." She pushed the bedsheets up on Lilly's legs.

"Okay, Lilly, now I want to get a look at your legs."

Taye was grateful she didn't elaborate.

Automatically, Audra grabbed Lilly's hand and shoulder. Chandra/Bailey on the other side of Lilly put a hand to her shoulder.

Confused, or simply not realizing what all this entailed, Lilly didn't object or move until Dr. Catalano touched her thigh.

Audra was looking directly at Lilly's face and watched in a mixture of amazement and horror at what she saw there. She looked over at Taye, who had moved back to the door, trying like hell to not look or not be there.

"Shit's about to hit the fan," she hissed.

Sure enough, she was right.


	7. Chapter 7

In unison the ring of women moved closer shielding Lilly, making a human privacy curtain.

Lilly scooted backwards, or at least she tried. With a cry of pain and a hand to her lower abdomen, she stopped her motion.

"No," she gasped in answer, "my legs hurt."

She looked wildly at Audra as she clamped her legs closed.

"And," she hissed in what she hoped was a meaningful tone, "I'm not wearing any underwear". Lest Audra forget how she ended up that way.

Audra simply replied with, "Don't worry, doctors see naked people every day."

"That's disgusting."

Audra gave Lilly an understanding look, but answered, "Let her see."

Lilly wrinkled up her nose. "Nuh uh," she shook her head.

"Lilly," Dr. Catalano spoke again, "I can't help you, I can't make it better unless you let me see what's wrong."

Her face suddenly grew dark, ominous, cold. "You can't fix this."

All the adults in the room glanced around at one another saying silently, "she's right."

And how do you argue that?

Audra just gave Lilly her best stern mommy look. Lilly shook her head wildly, pleadingly, eyes wide, begging silently to be listened to. It broke Audra's heart.

"Honey," it was Chandra being Bailey again, "Dr. Catalano's got to get a look at you. It's for your own good." She took a deep breath, but still her voice shook a bit as she said, "We need to get this done now. This is something that's medically necessary which means you can either choose to let the doctor look at you, or we're going to have to make you." She took a deep breath again, this time blinking back tears before she added, "You're a minor. You have a potentially life threatening condition, so you don't have a choice. A minor can't make choices about their medical treatment. But, I'm giving you the option right now, you move so that the doctor can see your legs, or we move you."

Lilly must have sensed Chandra's fear, since she was only looking at Audra, or at least looking in Audra's direction, thus not at all at Dr. Bailey, who in fact scared the shit out of her, because at the last word, Lilly began to wail and sob, immediately reaching her far arm over to Audra for comfort.

Immediately Chandra grabbed the kid's arm, and held it with all her strength. Lilly was still trying to turn onto her side, turn towards Audra.

"Audra!" She bawled, sounding so small, so little and desperate and helpless, Audra choked up and, shoving her fist in her mouth, began to cry.

Audra choked and made a little snorting sound as she tried to swallow her sobs. Holding back her anguish and tears made her want to vomit.

Lilly just kept shaking her head, now refused the ability to hide her face in Audra, literally turn to Audra for protection, her eyes were shut tight instead, tears streaming down her face, and lower lip wobbling.

"No, no, no," she begged in between sobbing and trying to breath.

"Move your leg," Taye made his voice soft, like Sam's, but it wasn't a request by any means. "If we have to do it, you'll tear yourself to pieces trying to fight against-" he stopped cold before he said the word 'us', realizing that fighting against the man who'd pried her legs apart was likely what caused the pain she was in at the moment.

"Carefully move your legs apart," he suggested, hoping she'd remember that he knew what he was talking about, and understood her concern about injuring her legs as a dancer.

He saw the tall woman he knew only as "Callie-from-Grey's" step up to the bed. She flashed a big milk white smile at Lilly, who still had her eyes closed up tight. She put a large capable looking hand on Lilly's knee. "We'll hold your legs so you don't have to use your muscles," she offered.

He didn't know how this actor knew his dancer pal was a dancer, but watching, he saw Lilly's body immediately freeze, eyebrows raised, so that if Lilly'd had her eyes open, she'd be staring in shock at the woman in front of her.

Lilly was a huge Grey's fan. Taye could tell that Lilly knew who was speaking to her, and touching her, and in her head Lilly was probably squealing, "Callie! Callie! Callie! It's Callie! Callie's talking to me!"

He turned a laugh into a cough.

Chandra must have noticed too.

"Do what Callie wants you to do," she ordered, smartly referring to her friend in a name that the kid would recognize. "Put your leg out so she can hold it." Audra moved her other hand to Lilly's knee, mirroring Sara Ramirez, who she knew by name, unlike Taye.

Taye watched Lilly's face blush red and a smile of momentary joy that she was trying to keep in check so she wouldn't 'lose her cool'. Then her expression turned from excitement to apprehension. She couldn't refuse Callie, and she was afraid of Bailey. It was visible on her face the inner struggle she was having between what she wanted to do, and what Miranda Bailey and Callie Torres apparently wanted. She wavered.

"Now," Bailey's tone was "I'll-kill-you".

Taye looked away then moved closer to the head of the bed as Lilly finally complied, slowly, carefully and painfully moving her legs apart.

"I know it hurts you to put your legs apart," Catalano acknowledged as her patient moved, "but if we can just get them a little bit apart-" Dr. Catalano paused, and professionalism momentarily gone her mouth dropped open and she showed shock, horror, then rage.

Sara's mouth dropped open. "Holy shit!" She yelled, staring at the stick small legs the girl had relinquished, not bothering to hide her true feelings or her language for the sake of the kid in the room.

Catalano turned to look at Taye who was stationed at the door. "You tell everyone out there looking-"

Chandra, clearly still being Bailey stepped away from Lilly and had the gall to take a look for herself.

"Holy Mother of God," she breathed, making each word it's own sentence. Quickly she added, interuppting anything Catalano might say-

"They need find that son-of-a-bitch and kill him-slowly. Or, you bring him in here, and let us deal with him."

Taye looked now at the other women in the room, the women circling Lilly's lower body like a shield. The faces of the female portion of the Grey's cast were a mixture of pain, horror, rage and disgust.

Then he watched Chandra as she looked again, and took a deep breath in, shutting her eyes momentarily in pain. Then Bailey pulled herself out of Chandra, marched right back to Lilly's side, almost all traces of Chandra's shock gone from her face. Quickly he headed off set, running to the back lot to find anyone he could. Clearly this bastard needed to die.

"Okay," the doctor put new emphasis on the words, "I'm going to be really careful, Lilly."

"Kid," her eyes were only on Lilly, or rather, what was visible under the sheet, but her words were directed at Chris, "give me your camera." Dr. Catalano's voice was steel-like, all business, but not enjoying what she was asking for.

Lowell handed over his camera, carefully looking away as he did so. Lilly was like his kid sister, but he knew he didn't want to see this. As much as he wanted to run after the bastard that did this to her and chop off his genitals with a dull knife, something held him here. Something told him he'd be more useful here with his camera, collecting evidence.

A few quick flashes from the camera and Catalano handed it back to him. The room had turned dead silent. Everyone holding their breath, waiting.

Catalano touched Lilly's thigh. It was already beginning to turn black from what was likely a severed muscle.

Lilly screamed in pain, and again tried to pull away, sobbing.

"I'm going to check your other leg," she announced,

"No!" Lilly yelled, begging. "No!" Her sobbing gave way to more gasping, her terror triggering hyperventilation.

"Lilly, you need to breathe," Audra spoke. "Take deep breaths." She said this even though she knew the pain mixed with fear made that nearly impossible.

Lilly just cried harder, gasping more rapidly than ever. When she realized she couldn't breathe, she opened her eyes. She kept trying to breathe, it just wasn't happening.

"Honey, you need to calm down," Bailey had both hands on Lilly's shoulders, her face right up next to her.

Audra tried to move in, thinking this is not a good idea, when Sara Ramirez decided to flip the tables on everyone. Softly she began singing what had to be an unknown song to Lilly. In fact it would have been unknown to most adults their age. She was singing "Walkin' My Baby Back Home" by Cab Callaway.

The surprise seemed to silence Lilly for a moment. Dr. Catalano had stopped her exam in order to help Lilly regain her normal breathing, and the moment Lilly could get in a breath, she took advantage of the opportunity.

"Tell her to stop," she begged. Audra smoothed the hair on her head, cringing when Lilly's blood stuck to her hand.

"Just a little bit more and Dr. Catalano'll be done," she answered, keeping her voice low.

"No," she whined, "I want her done now."

Catalano took advantage of Lilly's stillness, and with a look to both Chandra and Audra, began again running her fingers up from the knee to the groin, feeling for any tears in the gracilis or abductor magnis. When she got to the pubic bone, Lilly screamed in pain.

Dr. Catalano sucked in a breath through her teeth. "I"m sorry this hurts,".

"There's an avulsion," she spoke aloud, but quietly, only voicing her thoughts.

"What the hell did he do to her?" Bailey hissed the words, barely able to wait to kill the man who did this.

Sara muttered under her breath, "If she looks this bad on the outside-"

Lilly began to shake with pain.

"Stop it," Chandra still in full Miranda Bailey mode, ordered before the other woman could finish her thought.

Audra saw that Lilly had that odd wide-eyed stare, as if she were zoned out, seeing nothing. Yet her blue eyes were dark. Her pupils dilated to cover nearly her entire iris. Audra knew she was seeing nothing.

"Hey! Hey!" Bailey shook Lilly. "You stay with us."

"Lilly, sweetie?"

Lilly finally looked at Audra as if she saw her, genuine confusion all over her face. All fear was gone then. Audra shook with fear for a split second, shuddered, then was still. It was like looking into the face of a ghost.

Lilly then looked at Chris who was still sitting by the door and Taye, who'd just walked back in, standing by the door.

"When did we start shooting another scene?" She asked, genuinely confused.

Mouth open, Audra was afraid. She must be bleeding in her brain or something.

Next chap? In which we go from this to Private Practice being real.


	8. Chapter 8

Lilly only seemed to see Audra, and Dr. Catalano.

"Who's that?" she whispered.

"That's the doctor."

"Where's Addison?"

Audra glanced over at Chandra, horrified.

"Honey, Kate's outside."

"Where's Sam?"

Her eyes were huge again, Audra thought the kid was possibly about to pass out.

"What's wrong with her?" She hissed.

Everyone in the room shrugged. Dr. Catalano, only absorbed in her patient's needs and her tasks announced calmly, as if placing an order at a restaurant,

"Allright Lilly, now I'm going to use my finger to examine the inside of your vagina."

Lilly's mouth dropped open. Dazed, out of it, or not, this idea had her full attention.

"Excuse me?" Her voice cracked.

"I need to examine you internally now to see if everything's okay."

"I think we can bet everything is not okay," Chandra muttered. Sara made eye contact with her, still holding Lilly's legs, and nodded.

"Oh, no you don't!" The answer came out like that of street-wise inner-city child asserting themselves.

"Kid, this isn't optional," Chandra forced herself to be Bailey again, knowing what was ahead.

Lilly responded as if she hadn't heard, addressing Catalano instead. "You don't do that," she added.

"Actually, Lilly, I do."

"No you don't." Her eyes were wide as she shook her head adamently.

"Lilly-"

"No!" She asserted. "I know how a doctor's exam goes," she answered. "My doctor doesn't do that."

Bailey answered flat out, "You never hurt your vagina before. And your doctor would, if he or she were here."

"Well good thing they're not," she answered, looking at Chandra now, all fan-geekiness gone.

At Dr. Catalano's insistance, Lilly began gasping, trying to turn in to Audra for comfort, turn her body and her legs away. Sara Ramirez held them firmly in place.

"Might as well do this now," Catalano muttered. "Get someone else to hold her other leg."

At the prospect of being held down again, Lilly began shaking anew.

Taye was standing just outside the set, where he could easily hear each word, but could see nothing. Once figuring out what was about to go down, he realized the place to be was away. This was a girl thing, and he was not related. Out of sight seemed the most galant thing to be at the moment.

"This should only take a second," Dr. Catalano was saying.

Lilly, once again had her eyes shut tight, and was shaking her head.

"No, no no!" She begged.

"Taye!" She yelled.

Taye jumped. Tim had walked in moments earlier, and at the silent indications of his co-star, simply stood next to him, not crossing the threshold where the circle of women stood. Taye moved to step back inside, but Tim's hand on his shoulder stopped his forward movement. Looking at his friend, Tim only shook his head 'no'. Heartsick, Taye obeyed, knowing that it was right, even if it felt ten kinds of wrong.

Lilly's screaming and crying reduced to only tears in a matter of moments.

"Okay, that's done with," Catalano announced in a voice that faked brightness well.

Her torture over, Lilly sighed with relief and immediately moved to roll over towards Audra for comfort, but found that Miranda Bailey held her fast.

Lilly protested with little noises and a slight growl of dispproval.

"Someone wheel that tray over, make sure the smallest speculum is out." Catalano announced these words quietly, without any emphasis whatsoever.

Chris Lowell, previously frozen in place to his seat in terror while Lilly screamed, jumped up from his chair. He was the self-designated go-to person. In his present mind he figured that with his gynecological and midwife training a Dell Parker, he might well be the only person in the room besides the doctor who knew what a speculum was. Obediantly he rolled over the metal tray, and found sure enough, that the smallest speculum, as well as the rest of the rape kit collection materials was already present.

"Lilly," Catalano's voice broke the horrified silence that suddenly filled the room, "I need you to look at me."

Lilly glared at her.

That counted, so Catalano held up the speculum in her newly gloved hand- the previous pair having been discarded for blood, to avoid cross-contaiminating the new evidence.

"This is a speculum," she began. "It's going to go inside you, I open it up slowly, like this," she demonstrated, then will be able to examine you further, and use a q-tip to collect the rest of the evidence."

Lilly's eyes now had glazed over in boredom. It was clear that she didn't understand any of what this meant. This was made more clear when she stated,

"How's that gonna go inside me? It'll break my jaw!" She looked at Catalano as if she were crazy.

As one, the group of women cringed in both sympathy and pain. They would be witness to this girl having what was left of her childhood stripped away.

Chris coughed. "It doesn't go in your mouth,"

"Be quiet!" Taye's voice could be heard.


	9. Chapter 9

Audra wasn't sure who'd explained just where that speculum would go, but it didn't matter. The open room became a cacophony of screaming, all from Lilly, whose screams, shrieks were varied in need and emotion amplified heavy with both texture and feeling. It left everyone in the room wondering if Lilly had screamed during her assault, and if so, why had no one come running?

Lilly's screamed words varied little. Mixture of no, refusals, insistence of the doctor's insanity were the jist of it. But if anyone heard the words, they gave no indication. They simply heard screams.

At the inaction, Lilly changed tactics.

"Get Charlotte!"

She screamed the order loud, her face facing Audra, but not seeing her at all. She saw Naomi, and an inept possibly illegal doctor at her feet. THe rest of the room was a blur. It didn't matter. Her imminant danger mattered.

"This crazy bitch doesn't know what she's doing! I want her arrested! Get Charlotte King! I want this pyscho bitch out of here!"

It was the swearing that rattled Lilly's castmates the most. Lilly was quiet as a mouse, and was mortified if anyone in her presence uttered anything close to a 'swear word.' She certainly never swore herself, nor even raised her voice.

Her voice was shrill, her throat raw, sounding as if it must be bleeding inside.

Audra held a styrofoam cup of water with a straw in it to Lilly's lips. She drank a sip, then continued as if her lips had never been interrupted from their speech.

She looked at Audra then, with focused eyes that drilled into her in their need and insistance.

"Get Charlotte. It's the chief of staff's job to get good doctors, and boot the sucky ones. This bitch isn't listening to me, so get Charlotte. She'll listen to her," Lilly assured her.

Audra knew then that she wasn't there. Lilly wasn't seeing her. Only Naomi Bennett was in the room with her, and some crazy doctor who needed to be fired by Charlotte King.

Taye felt shaken. He glanced sideways at Tim. "She's serious," he hissed, incredulous.

Tim nodded, silent for a moment then in a tone of nothing but seriousness added, "Better get KaDee back here."

Taye stood still, listening to his pint-sized co-star scream for Charlotte King, and flipped open his phone setting it to text mode.

She gasped, calming. "Get Charlotte," she explained. "Just get her."

Chris worried for Lilly's sanity, until looking everyone over, he realized the wall of women were all cast from Grey's dressed in blue scrubs and lab jackets. Audra was wearing Naomi's usual i don't know how sexy I am type of dress, with a necklace of huge pearls. All real. He was wearing a mix up of Dell's surfer boy shirt and cargo pants. Nothing any of them would wear in real life. Maybe in her mind he reasoned, there's no other reason for her to be there. Maybe she thinks she's Caroline King, he realized. Her character, instead of herself.

Audra just shook her head at Lilly. "No sweetie, she can't be here."

Audra shook her head hard. The tone of her voice, even the words were Naomi Bennett's. Perhaps she was bending to the kid's insanity. Or helping her play pretend?

"Then get Addison!" Lilly looked at her, or rather, Naomi, as if she were crazy. It was clear Lilly didn't understand why she wasn't getting her way.

The immediate demand also made it clear that Lilly was deep in her delusion.

"She's busy." Sara whispered the words, refering to her friend still outside tracking down the man likely to kill him.

"Lilly," Dr. Catalano's voice broke through, "I need to do this so that I can help you. This will help things go faster when we take you to the hospital," she stopped herself before saying so we can get you right into surgery.

Lilly looked at the woman and shook her head. "No," she explained, "no. I know exams, and no doctor I know ever does an exam like this."

She pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side in a 'so there, now whatcha gonna do?' kind of look.

"Actually, this is a very, very common kind of exam."

Lilly made a derisive snort, then laughed aloud, looking at Audra.

"I told you she was crazy. Get Charlotte, this woman's a wack-job. Who'd ever do an exam like this? What does she think I am, stupid?! I know all about physical exams. I have to get them every year for school records. Plus, I do work on this show, hello..."

"Lilly, I need to get a better look. I think you may have some internal bleeding, a lot of damage-"

"No!" She insisted again. "No way are you putting that in me. I'm in enough pain as it is!"

Audra relaxed, hearing Lilly refer to her own reality.

Lilly was shaking and gasping for breath. With tear lined eyes she looked again, desperately at Audra.

"Get Cooper," she begged.

Audra sighed. So much for sanity.

"Due to the low amount of reviews on FFN in general, I'm partnering with other authors to remind you, the reader that if you've taken the time to read a story, or a chapter, you need to review it. To not review, no matter what excuse you can come up with is RUDE. Writers, post this in your chapters to remind the FFN readers to review!"

- Harsh, but true. I like this movement. I hope it's getting back to where it used to be a community of readers who review and by so doing help the writer write.


	10. Chapter 10

"No one's ever done anything like that to me. I see a pediatrician."

"This is a procedure that gynecologists do quite often."

"What is that? Something for cancer?" The look on her face was simple crushing fear. A look that conveyed as easily as words, oh my god what else is going to happen to me?

"That's the kind of doctor that grown up women see," Audra answered.

"But I'm not a grown-up!" She insisted. "I'm sure I know all the stuff anyone needs for an exam. Why would a grown up need anything different. You don't grow new body parts except for teeth."

"And," she added, "if there were something like this, I would definitely know about it. Every girl I know would know about it. And no one's ever told me anything like this so, no," she shook her head. "no way."

"This is something you don't hear about until you're older." Audra made a pained face, wondering why that were true.

Lilly looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Then why are you thinking of doing this on me now? I'm not a woman, I'm a kid!"

When it was clear no one was going to listen to her reasoning, Lilly tried to roll over and hide herself against Audra. Sadly, Chandra Wilson and Bailey both held the girl fast, keeping her in position. Denied that, Lilly whimpered.

"Nae," she pleaded, lower lip wobbling and eyes closed tight.

She was shaking and screaming for both Paul and Cooper when both Taye and Sara moved in to help hold Lilly's legs in place. There was blood spewing from her still, and without a working ultrasound, Dr. Catalano had no other reliable option to access the source of the bleeding. Chris did as he had been doing, feeling slightly frozen, yet snapping pictures for evidence. THinking for some reason that they might be very neccesary.

"Jesus," Ellen hissed, "can this get worse?"

She stood with everyone else, still in a semi-circle around the hospital bed.

"I doubt it," Sandra answered, both staring eyes wide open.

As they continued murmering to each other, Lilly eyes again glued shut against reality, stilled for a moment, frozen, mouth closed.

Chandra realized what was happening.

"Grey, Yang," she called out in what she hoped was a meaningful Bailey tone, "keep talking." A moment's more thought and she added, "I want you to go over that last procedure, now."

She hoped they got the point to talk in character, and to talk about something that would make it believeable.

"Uh..." Sandra searched for words that Yang would have grabbed easily. "There was a sub-dermal hemotoma,"

"That's right," Ellen nodded agreeing, "and that trans-dermal cerviclage that created a cardio-myopathy."

"I get to scrub in on that... bi-lateral tibular splint," Sandra tried to brag as Yang, even though she knew she was reaching for straws just like Ellen was.

Suddenly something easier came to mind. "hey, dId you make out with McSteamy?"

"No!" It was both Ellen and Meredith.

Chandra closed her eyes as if her head hurt, hoping that the kid didn't know those words any more than Ellen and Sandra did. She definitely knew what a cerviclage was, and that trans-dermal and cardio-myopathy couldn't even be in the same paragraph together, let alone the same sentence. But, it was working. THe kid had calmed down, and seemed intent on listening. On having this be real. The reality that Meredith and Christina were in the same room with her.

"Why doesn't she open her eyes?" Sara hissed the words barely under her breath. Figuring that if the girl loved Grey's so much why wouldn't she want to see her favorite characters? Her next thought was she's not gonna love Grey's after this.

Chandra shrugged. She didn't have an answer for that.

But then everything came to a crashing halt. It was as if their reality stopped and an entirely new something had begun. Dr. Catalano had begun inserting the speculum for the pelvic exam. Then all anyone heard was screaming. Constant screaming of a tortured searing agony both physical and emotional.

Lilly fought as much as she could, and screamed for both Taye and Sam, but mostly Sam. Especially when she figured out that Taye wasn't listening to her.

Only Chris and Sara were actually close enough to hear the doctor ask again how long it would be before the ambulance would be there.

What felt like hours later, there was sobbing that seemed more painful and heart-breaking than the screams. Chandra Wilson finally released Lilly who immediately turned her whole body to Audra, looking for comfort, for familiar arms to hold her. "Nae!" She sobbed, eyes still shut, moving like a blind bat trying to cling to something it couldn't see.

The room smelled like fear, sweat, and a mixture of hormones.

When the ambulance was finally there, and medics with a gurney in the room, Chandra took over one last time, with every bit of strength left in her. Saving the best for last, she looked straight at and ordered, "Stevens, you go with her in the ambulance."

Katherine Heigl stood lined up with the rest of the female cast, looking positively green. But at that moment, Lilly's eyes popped open and she looked eagerly at who she saw as Izzy Stevens, a wide grin on her face.

Reacting fast, Katherine made sure that Stevens grinned right back, and that she was all Izzy.

"Hi!" Katherine made Izzy gush and smile, hurrying up to Lilly and the gurney as if she'd just happened into the room. "I'm going to get you into the ambulance, and we're going to get you fixed up."

Lilly just stared at Izzy's face. It was like the sun was smiling at her. Her body finally relaxed. As they wheeled her in, she reached back for Audra. She didn't have to reach far. The woman wouldn't have left her for the world. And in the end a mixture of Naomi, Katherine, Audra, Izzy, Chandra and Bailey squeezed into the ambulance, leaving Dr. Catalano and everyone else to follow after.

I can't wait till we get to the 'fun part' of the dream. Obviously, this isn't it. Don't forget to review. Especially those of you who are following this story! I see you!


	11. Chapter 11

When Lilly breathed in she felt pain all over, as if she were being stabbed, skewered with hot knives. She couldn't see, she just felt pain.

She moaned and tried to move, tried to get away from the pain, but that only made it worse.

"Lilly," Audra's voice. Lilly heard it with a slight echo, along with a beeping noise. Her nose told her that this was not a familiar place. It smelled like plastic and metal and clean.

She moaned again and tried to open her eyes. On the third try, she succeeded. She looked at Audra.

Where's Izzy, she thought the question, confused as to where she was, but too exhausted to speak. Finally she got the words out to express the most pressing matter on her confused mind.

"I hurt," she whispered.

Audra put a hand to her forehead. "I'll go get a nurse," she whispered, "and see if they can give you more pain meds. Don't try to move," she cautioned.

She was too tired to nod. Lilly fell back to sleep before Audra'd made it to the door.

When Lilly woke again she saw Shonda Rhimes sitting next to her.

"I need to talk to Violet," she mumbled, not knowing why she said it, but knowing it was somehow important. "I wish Violet were real," she sighed with genuine longing.

Shonda simply nodded and smiled, holding Lilly's hand.

Audra entered the room again strategically shielding the sight of what was or might be outside of the door. Without knowing why Lilly screamed at her.

"Get out!" She shrieked. "I never want to see you again!"

" I want Naomi," she whined. "I need Naomi. You are not her," she said the words scathingly as if she could give no worse insult. Once Audra'd retreated, Lilly looked straight at Shonda. As much as her body begged for sleep again, she needed to say something.

"You need to fix this. Make it better. I have to talk to Nae. That'll make it better."

"And VIolet?"

Lilly nodded.

"Done." More softly as Lilly began to go back to sleeping off the anasthesia, "If you still feel with way when the anesthesia wears off," she added.


	12. Chapter 12

It was more than a week before Lilly could walk again, at least without being in blinding pain, hunched over. She'd stayed in the hospital that whole time. When she was finally released, internal injuries on their way towards healing, she went home.

The crew stopped filming that week. Lilly's character had proved to be integral to the story's plotline. At this point it wasn't certain that Lilly would be back, would come back to the place she'd been ravaged. But Shonda knew. She knew Lilly'd be back because she'd said so. She'd told her when she told Shonda that she wished Violet was real.

The cast and crew took this personally, each taking turns sitting with her, so that at no point was she alone, or without a face she knew.

When the anasthesia had worn off and Chris was sitting vigil at her bedside, she'd cried, he'd told her, because Violet wasn't real, and she really needed to talk to Violet but she couldn't because Violet wasn't real.

When Shonda took her place at her young worker's bedside, she'd suggested writing a letter to Violet. Lilly quickly complied, giving the letter to Shonda.

Perhaps she hadn't realized the significance of the act, but it was akin to mailing a letter to Santa. She'd given the letter she'd written to Shonda because she knew Shonda was the only person who could get the letter to Violet.

But Lilly wouldn't let Amy in her hospital room. She'd sobbed bitterly because Amy wasn't who she needed, and that face was viseraly painful. For Amy to look exactly like the woman Lilly needed so desperately but was not. It was an illusion. And Lilly desperately needed for Violet to be real.

That's when Shonda realized that in order for Lilly to heal, Caroline King would have to be raped. How else would Lilly be able to talk to Violet? And to Naomi? She kept this opinion to herself however, and instead invited Lilly to come back to work. She was just to be there (as so often happened) she wasn't in the story, but she could hang out and sit in on the table read.

Any attempt to get Lilly to talk was immediately shut down by Lilly in no uncertain terms. She made no move to acknowledge what happened, indeed making every effort to make it appear as if nothing at all had happened.

Now things were different. Both cast and crew were afraid to speak to her, unsure of what to say. Shonda'd made sure that Amy was immersed in work with a psychologist who specialized in child trauma, specifically sexual assault. This was to prepare her for the work Shonda was sure to come, as well as to prepare her should Lilly simply chose to see Amy on her own, and forget that she was Amy.

Lilly's note to Violet had read simply,

_Dear Violet, _

_I really, really need to talk to you. _

_Lilly-_

_aka Caroline._

And the blood was still there. The blood that fell at the immediate scene of Lilly's rape. The trail of blood that Lilly's body left like breadcrumbs as she walked away from it, towards the trailers where her friends and co-workers were, towards help. Towards safety.

None of the blood had been washed away. If Lilly saw any of it, she gave no indication.


	13. Chapter 13

Anyone and everyone who had not been there that night, or wasn't considered "immediate family" was barred from the lot and the set.

There was crying. There was a lot of apologizing and excusing from people who had not 'been here', even those who didn't know the girl, and weren't a part of the Private Practice cast.

Once everyone she'd summoned was seated, Shonda stood up and began.

"We need to figure out what to do. We need damage control to protect Lilly's privacy, we don't need any fools getting ahold of this."

"It's going to be hard enough to heal from something like this," Sara Ramirez spoke up, having been considered one of the immediate family, and one of the people Shonda'd wanted to hear from having been there on that night, in the room with Lilly, "Without dealing with all the-"

"A-holes outside," Kate Walsh finished her co-worker's sentence with a nod and meaning to the paparazzi outside, that also included the likes of the news networks.

"I want to know what happened." Shonda was dead serious.

"I want to know everything."

She looked into the eyes of the women. The women who had been with Lilly when she'd been examed. The men and Kate who had run around the lot trying to find the bastard that murdered her young actress.

"That's a tall order." Chandra, flinching involuntarily. She remembered everything. Every single detail.

"If I'm going to help this child, I need to know everything. Right now."

At that, Audra McDonald began to sob, crying so hard from the depths of her soul that her body shook. She curled in on herself. Amy, who was sitting next to her, enveloped her in her arms, in a moment sobbing as well.

Whether each of them had been there or not, the trauma of the night left no one unaffected. In a matter of moments the emotions in the room had everyone crying or outright sobbing.

After a long number of minutes, when the collective group's first and strongest emotional response was allowed to be voiced, the talking began.

What had happened and when. What had been said.

The next day Lilly was back on set, sitting in her usual chair at the table read, behaving as if nothing had happened. If anyone had doubted her acting before now, it was impossible to do so today. The strength and range of her ability to behave as if what had happened to her had not happened at all could have won her an Emmy.

Out of respect, everyone played along. If she wanted to pretend that nothing was wrong, they'd go the distance with her. But no one expected what happened next. Lilly wasn't being tough. She was being her usual mild-mannered, quiet, polite, innocent self. But in an instant it was as if a bomb'd gone off, searing away every shred of normalcy in the room.

This is the jump point. From here on out I can finally get to the good stuff! And what in the world happened to my reviewers? I see people reading, but not one of you is saying anything. :( Maybe this is too weird for you guys. Oh well. I'll just continue typing. Like talking to your reflection in the mirror because no one else will listen to you or see you.


	14. Chapter 14

If I could have started the story here, I would have.

"I never said it was a bad idea," Cooper paused, "I just said-"

"I know exactly what you said!" Charlotte King snapped.

Lilly sat, feet dangling inches from the floor, script opened to the third page just staring.

She hadn't said one word since getting there that day, just literally going through the motions of being there, and literally only the motions.

She simply sat, she didn't say anything, and didn't do much more than that. When people spoke to her Lilly made a face, or grunted a noise, or sometimes even looked their way to acknowledge their presence. But there were people she didn't look at. People she went out of her way to avoid.

Amy was still kept out of eyesight, but KaDee sat where she always did, across the table on the far side of Lilly with Paul sitting next to her. They both said their proximity made it easier to argue.

"Pull your pants up and stop actin' like a snot nosed toddler!"

Charlotte King's voice seemed to echo in the space.

And just like that, things stopped. Everything seemed to freeze. At least for Lilly. Everything was frozen, and she felt as if she were floating, as if she was there in the room, but literally floating above her seat. She had to look down to be sure she was sitting. And she was. Then the words, "Pull your pants up and stop actin' like a snot-nosed toddler!" repeated themselves.

And suddenly Lilly was back in her body, slammed down as if her soul had been yanked upward then thrust down hard into reality. Now she felt as if she were underwater and had earplugs in. Her head felt full, clogged, all she could think of was getting away. And that she felt hot.

Lilly had no idea that her face had turned so deep red it was almost purple, nor that her breathing had increased to gasps. She simply pushed her chair back from the table and stood up, both the motion and the sound stopping all other activity at the table, transfering the other actors from the script to her.

Taye stood up in response, feeling a threat looming.

Lilly backed up so quickly it looked as if she'd jumped back. She held up a hand.

"Oh, oh don't get up," Lilly's voice positively dripped with scorn and hatred.

"No," she cooed. "Just sit your ass down," she snapped. "That's right, just sit there and do nothing. That's all you're good at isn't it?" Doing nothing," she looked directly at him when she made her indicment.

"You're really awesome at not helping people, especially when they request or actually need it. So no, definitely don't try to help me now, asshole."

The room froze, unable to believe what they were hearing.

"What did you say?" Taye's tone was one of genuine disbelief and question, rather than the tone taken by mothers and parents of old.

Lilly had already begun walking purposefully, yet still obviously with pain, away. She turned back around and again met Taye's eyes with the disdain of her own.

"Fuck. You." She answered.

Just by chance Tim had been walking past her, back in the direction of the group table, coffee in hand when this exchange occurred. He stopped in place at her words.

"You can't speak like that," his voice was gentle in his rebuke. He knew she was angry. She was filled with rage. He wanted to validate that, while still setting expections at the same time.

But his words just drew Lilly's venom to him instead.

"Oh, I can," she answered, looking into the dark eyes that were staring in surprise at her.

"I can talk like that. I can say any fucking thing that I want to here. Do you understand that? I can do anything I fucking want."

Her voice wasn't loud, but it was ladden with rage and betral.

While Tim, and the rest of the cast present were wondering what would make her think her statement to be true, she added,

"If you people can do anything you want to," now her "i'm going to kill you" look was directed right at Tim. "Including not doing anything," the phrase was yelled, aimed to carry and hit certain people directly in the chest, " I can sure as shit do anything I want."

"Oughta be lucky I don't kill all of you," she muttered to herself as she turned back and walked away. Though not quietly enough to not be heard.

When Lilly'd closed the set door behind her, Amy, KaDee and Kate began to cry, all to varying degrees. Audra sat, silent, feeling the weight of truth down around her shoulders.

They'd been dying for her to speak to them, as herself, as Lilly. To be Lilly again. The things she'd said while on the morphine or after surgeries didn't count. She'd just kept talking about Charlotte and Violet and Naomi, about all of the characters. So now she'd finally spoken to them. And her words and her demeanor were telling them just what it had felt like to be her that night. What it had felt like for her friends to allow another person to rip her body open.

She was making it clear that none of them had helped her.


	15. Chapter 15

Lilly sat in her trailer, watching the first episode of the Cosby Show on DVD. She just kept replaying it. Didn't think, just watched. So, when there was a knock at the trailer door, Lilly jumped with a gasp, terrified. Her first thought?

He's back! Followed by acute body-freezing terror. The man hadn't been caught. for all she knew he was just waiting to get her again, and she'd proven to be easy prey. So of course he'd be back because he knew she was an easy target.

She grabbed the nearest object to her, ready to defend herself, which happened to be the remote control.

"Who is it?" She yelled, fear making her throat tight.

Her brain expected to hear Vanessa Huxtable's voice yell back, "Who it is!"

"It's Chris."

Lilly relaxed. She trusted Chris. Chris hadn't tried to hurt her.

"Can we talk?"

Lilly made a face. Talk was dangerous. There'd been some talk of her seeing a shrink, but she'd answered "Is it Violet? Then, no." She'd gone from accomodating Shirley Temple to closed off, defensive, angry old woman.

"Depends," she yelled back.

"I just wanna talk about stuff."

"I don't wanna hear crap about you think I'm wrong or I should apologize."

"No, that's not it,"Chris answered.

Slowly Lilly got up and unlocked and unbaricaded her door. It was slow work too, lifting and moving things or just using her muscles was still painful.

Chris walked in.

"If anything we should be apologizing to you."

"You're damn right you should," Lilly agreed in answer. "Audra hasn't said shit to me," she added. "Or Taye or anyone else, and they all owe me apologies."

Chris blinked in shock at her swearing, but tried not to show shock. If she was trying to get a reaction, he'd been told not to give one.

The fact that his name wasn't listed confirmed what he'd been hearing all along, that Lilly had no concious memory of his being in the room. For whatever reason her memory had been selective, trying to protect her in some way by leaving his presence out of the equation.

It was clear now that he was the only person who Lilly would talk to and was "allowed" to talk to her.

Instead of questioning why she didn't remember, and realizing she'd be well within her rights to be even more angry with him than anyone else after he got her to spill her guts to him...he decided to walk in and start doing some damage control. Maybe more of Dell than usual was rubbing off on him.

"So, um, I just wanted to see if I could do anything for you."

In his mind's eye he flashed back to a day earlier, before the reality of what they'd done to her had sunk in. When she was just silent, but not angry, or at least not at them. She'd been sitting in a chair on set when Justin Chambers as Alex walked in in his blue scrubs and white lab coat. He was holding something in his fist.

_"Hey, Lil?"_

_They all saw him coming. Himself, Audra, Tim, Kate, and Paul were in the vicinity._

_Non-pulsed, Lilly turned, not recognizing, or possibly believing the voice behind her._

_When she saw her mega-crush standing next to her her entire being changed. For a moment she was beyond happy. She sat frozen in a state of shocked joy. Her eyes widened, her face lifted, her cheeks pulling at the corners of her mouth, but Lilly was clearly trying her best not to act excited. It took a few moments before she could even answer._

_"Yes?" Her voice was high in her throat, as if she weren't getting enough oxygen. For a moment Chris wondered if she was going to faint, like the women in old time movies._

_Justin smiled at her in an almost bashful way. He had kids, mostly girls Lilly's age, but he was clearly playing into the role. Obviously he'd been told that Lilly had a mega-mega crush on Alex Korev. Kate had said Lilly was so "crushy" on him that she refused to learn his real name. Chris didn't understand what that had to do with anything, but Amy'd piped up and explained, "It's a girl thing," and smiled. Chris shrugged and let it drop at that._

_"I got these for you."_

_Chris nodded to himself. He was in character, he was being Alex being momentarily nice. Chris knew he didn't speak that way himself. They'd sometimes but not too often hung out together, mostly at functions._

_Lilly stared as his hand was opening as if she expected it to be a glass slipper or a glowing diamond. Anticipatory. And completely head over heels in love. _

_Not able to see well enough Chris could only see Lilly's expectant expression drop in annoyed dissapointment._

_Justin must have noticed as he knelt down low enough to smile at Lilly and be able to look her in the eye._

_Chris had smiled at the exchange. Well that did it, he thought._

_As he smiled and said, "I need you to take these for me, okay?"_

_He saw Lilly suck in a breath, her eyes looking far off and glassy, Chris could imagine her floating up into the air like a balloon._

_Kate whispered commentary, apparently able to read Lilly's mind._

_"_He _needs_ me_," she whispered in a dramatic, semi-mocking tone._

_"_Do something for you_?" She asked, batting her eyes and grinning. "_I'd do _anything_ for you, Alex_."_

_Chris snorted with laughter then began coughing to cover it. Paul had moved in and was biting his lip to keep from laughing as well._

_Chambers held up a plastic cup full of water, and Chris realized that Shonda was using him to mule Lilly her pain meds, and any and all other meds she needed._

_"Prophylaxis for her rape," Kate whispered, able to identify the meds in his hand, "morphine, carisoprodol."_

_His confusion must have been evident as Kate added, "To try to keep her from getting any STDs, HIV, specifically, and something for the pain and her leg muscles."_

_Chris remembered then that most of the time Lilly was still sitting on ice packs, or had ice packs sitting on her legs._

_"Just toss 'em in your mouth and take a big swig of water," Justin/Alex encouraged._

_"She'll choke!" Kate smothered a laugh. "She's too excited by seeing her fav tv character to swallow her own spit, let alone a handful of drugs," she predicted._

_Indeed, Lilly had difficulty swallowing a single one. _

_"I'll choke," she protested. Kate nodded wildly at that, silently proclaiming "I told you so!"_

_Justin faked popping a pill in his mouth, took a genuine gulp of the water and handed the cup back to Lilly. _

_"See?" He assured her, "Nothing to it." _

_"Oh god," Paul groaned as Chris echoed his worry._

_"She's gonna drink the water after him, and sell the cup on ebay."_

_"No," Kate shook her head in confidence. "She'll keep the cup."_

_Paul nodded to the two. "You need to stop this." _

_Kate sighed and walked up to her former co-star. _

_"Kate," Justin tilted his head in a half nod towards her. _

_Very Korev._

_"Chambers," she answered, forgetting, if she'd ever realized that he was in character, at least for the most part. Aside from calling her Kate, which Alex wouldn't do. _

_Lilly looked pissed. She tried to stand between the two, without making it look as if she were trying to keep her Alex to herself. _

_Kate opened then handed a fresh bottle of water to Lilly. "Pop half those in your mouth, take a big drink of water and you're done." _


End file.
